Updated: Dec 4, 2018
Day Seventy-Five: Today I am roughly 2.5 months into my creative journey and I am slowly realizing it actually takes more than 21 days to break a bad habit. Once again I was caught off guard and temped by the nursing/job security bug. As much as art excites me and provides a new found hope, art is also the scary and unknown and as we all know humans tend to repel the “scary and unknown”. Nursing has been and perhaps will always be the devil that I dislike yet know. Whether it be good or bad, I always know what to expect when it comes to nursing, henceforth my most current dilemma.
Out of the blue, as the universe would have it I received a request to interview for a Director of Nursing position, a position I had spent the previous five months attempting to procure. Just for shiggles (shits and giggles) I attend the interview and as fate would have it landed the position for way more compensation than I had requested. Of course it’s a great opportunity to have the consistent income and security I have become so accustomed to over the past 15 years. However, no matter the pay or security it was a distraction to my bigger purpose and that purpose is to CREATE and INSPIRE. My hubby likened me accepting the interview to “Driving by an ex-boyfriend’s house just to see if the car is in the driveway” and he is absolutely correct. Today I realized I am still very much in the mist of Letting Go. I am still letting go of the life, heartache, and unhappiness that had somehow plagued me and become my norm. I wanted to know if nursing would be able to go on without me.
Twenty-one days apparently has not been enough time for me to fully embrace my new path and who knows if it will take twenty-one days more. What I do know is I have been provided a once in a lifetime opportunity to conquer my dreams and that is what I intend on doing. So in conclusion, I did not accept the position because sometimes in order to move forward one must briefly go in reverse in order to simply switch lanes. I now remind myself of this daily. 😉❤️